Tag: life

Remembering Grandma

Judy A.W. (November 7, 1941 – January 22, 2024)

Sunflowers, Proverbs 3:5-6, chicken decor, a house set at 80 plus degrees Fahrenheit, Mac’s Drive-In hamburgers, and the strong smell of freshly brewed Columbian coffee from Knowlen and Yates, “strong enough to put hair on your chest” she’d always say…those were some of my grandma’s favorites. The beautiful thing about getting to know someone we love is that when those things they enjoyed so much show up within our view they serve as sweet God-wink reminders of our loved ones.

I feel graciously blessed that when I consider the roots of my faith, where it all began, I’m directed to my Grandma Judy’s own faith. Her love for Jesus, and commitment to attending church faithfully each Sunday, sparked a flame within my mom, dad, brothers and my heart.. and over the years (for myself) that flame gradually grew. It wasn’t until my late 20s that it finally ignited with a genuine zeal, surely my grandma prayed that day would come.

The most precious of our times, more recently, had been of me reading scripture and praying with my grandma and the peace that flooded over her, I can’t even begin to describe.

Last Saturday, what a bittersweet joy we experienced as a family with my grandma at the nursing home as we spent the full day with her. She knew her journey this side of Heaven was nearing an end, and she humbly and bravely called each of us to her bedside, profoundly declaring love and thankfulness over each of us being there beside her to spend those last moments together.

Throughout the day there was a mixture of laughter and tears, though my grandma was fading I know she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Her most treasured hymns played softly in the background. She even gently sang along to a few of the lyrics with me.

In her younger years, my grandma always enjoyed getting all gussied up so we painted her fingernails her favorite light shade of purple. She was encouraged and reminded of the wonderful role she’d served as grandma in our lives. We shared with her ways that she’d touched our heart in life changing ways, she no doubt felt love bigger than any pain she was experiencing.

Saturday was such a bittersweet chapter in my grandma’s story and we will continually reflect upon it as we mourn the loss of our beloved gal.

Sunday came and with it Grandma Judy had settled into a comfortable and peaceful state. Her eyes remained closed and her voice had been replaced with soft breaths rising and falling. We continually encouraged her up until her final moment at 1:20 early last Monday morning.

True to my grandma’s humble spirit, very quietly and gently she transitioned from an earthly life to an eternal Heavenly one. It still feels a bit surreal to me.

As I look back, I’m reminded that those final days with my grandma honestly felt like my family, with our grandma, were the only ones in the nursing home. It felt like nothing else was occurring outside of our little love-filled room. Sure a few nurses would step in and out and all of them were so kind, respectful, and caring but as far as anything outside those walls, I just feel like life was on pause out there.

I’ve been curious about this and I’ve asked, “Lord, what was up with that?” And the repetitive answer in the solace of my heart I’m getting is this, “that’s what enjoying and living in the moment feels like, Alicia.”

My mind wasn’t distracted by a thousand wonders. My hands weren’t busy with multi-tasking. It was just me simply being in the very presence of God’s flawless alignment, focused on the blessing of family memories He had at hand.

And it felt good.

I’m at peace, and am grateful, knowing that I was fully in the place God wanted me. How often I run at “Alicia-pace” forgetting to slow down and allow our Father to have His way and His timing. Even in her final moments, my grandma was tugging my heart for the betterment of myself, teaching and pointing me to Jesus’ perfect will…what a wonderful testimony she’s imprinted over my own faith, such a legacy of Christian leadership she’s leaving behind…

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I’m More Concerned Over Your Heart

This will be a vulnerable post—but since I’ve gone down the “vulnerable path” in many of my other blog posts I figure what’s another? Besides, most generally, I get someone who thanks me for being real and raw and for helping them sort out some part of their own mess, plus writing out my thoughts helps me process…and if there wasn’t a devotional reflection to go along, I wouldn’t bother making a post at all.

With that, here it goes… Continue reading “I’m More Concerned Over Your Heart”

That’s Just What I Needed, Thank you!

I was trying to figure out what woke me from a deep sleep this morning at 4:15. And then I heard the loud cry of our rooster crowing on the front patio, which happens to be located next to my bedroom window.

Yesterday afternoon our rooster (Blackie) flew the coop, literally. He must’ve had enough of the hens out there and decided to relocate, hence the reason he’s now been perched out front of our house for the past day.

After about a dozen crows this morning before 5 A.M. I finally turned to my husband, “that’s it, I’m gonna go outside and talk to him!!”…surely my husband questioned my awkward statement but nevertheless I stepped out front (barefoot and nearly frozen immediately). I stooped down to eye level with the rooster and calmly stroked his back and spoke softly to him. He nestled down closer to the table he was sitting on and relaxed as if to say, “that’s just what I needed, thank you!”

I tiredly went back inside and crawled into bed and got a few more hours of sleep—beautiful, quiet uninterrupted sleep. It wasn’t until after 7, the sun was beginning to light the sky, the rooster let out a few more crows. This time his noise was gladly welcomed, with the 7 o’clock hour seeming a bit more fitting.649C1F7D-178A-4F25-9DFA-0EFC19F7F366

Not only have Blackie’s crow-times been off lately, he’d also flown into our living room window several times yesterday. And today as we’ve had wind gusts of 35 miles per hour he still insist on sitting out front in the blistering openness of frigid cold.

Although he has a warm home, plenty of food, and many lady friends to keep him company something out in the chicken coop just isn’t quite right for him.

I think of the many times I can relate to the odd mannerism of my rooster’s—the times that I’ve been confused, unsettled, and distressed much like this new adopted behavior of his. Continue reading “That’s Just What I Needed, Thank you!”

Grandma’s Biscuits and…Her Dementia

711FD028-E6E7-4694-B142-F42BC4353A80It’s 3 A.M. as I write…can’t sleep…

Again.

This time I’m blaming my dog. My husband might have been sleep-talking as he rambled off something about the dog and an ear infection; either way his slumbered words sound like the voice of reason to me so I’ll have to get Eli into the vet because this whining and ear scratching is obnoxious—for not only the dog but me as well. Apparently it’s not affecting Nate’s sleep, after offering his ‘unprofessional vet diagnosis’ he’s back to quiet snores before even finishing mumbling.

Anyway after my last post I wasn’t sure I’d be able to write again…ever. There’s times when I share deep parts of my life on this blog and it causes me to feel so vulnerable. It feels like rather than pushing the “publish” button, I’ve just pushed “panic” instead and I begin to get swallowed by Satan’s lies ‘you’re crazy for putting that out there, what’s wrong with you? and blah, blah, blah’…because he’s just that irritating.

But then I have to remember why I originally chose to start this blog—it was never to showcase the best parts of my life through haughty sounding words, it wasn’t to reach a certain number of followers, nor was it to gain attention. It’s always been about noting the things and areas of my life in which God has spoken to my heart, sharing highs and lows and the lessons learned along the way, creating a legacy to pass down to my kiddos. All I want is for them to see how tough life can be BUT what prevails is loving Jesus like crazy regardless.

Perhaps the best part of this blog is being able to write my thoughts out and seeing how God has and is working in my life and then when someone comments on a post even three or four months later to let me know my words spoke to their heart…goodness, there’s just nothing like it. Glory to God alone, I’m then able to grasp that this whole blog is truly For His Purpose. Amen!!?

Not today Satan, not today! Even if it is 3 in the morning, I choose to use this time optimistically.

So on to Grandma’s biscuits and her dementia… Continue reading “Grandma’s Biscuits and…Her Dementia”

Finding a New Perspective Through Zip Lining

I sat, securely in a harness, suspended from a cable about fifteen feet off the ground. My husband walked alongside my kids who were down below cheering excitedly. They pulled me and my attached equipment to the starting point where they’d release the rope and send me sailing on a zip line amidst a thickly wooded grassland.

Adventure? Yes.

Enthusiasm? Not from me at this moment.

When my family was invited to an evening of fun at what has been dubbed “magical” Narnia, we quickly accepted the offer. This tiny slice of Heaven belongs to our Pastor and his wife and sits on ten acres with a river gently flowing along the edge of the property. With four-wheeler trails, rope swings, a camp fire area, shooting range, zip line, and lots of space to climb, roam and explore, it really is a good time for an outdoor enthusiast and it’s entertained many over the years.

But as I sat anxiously, about to be whisked away, I was far from impressed but hesitantly persisted on—in hopes of overcoming my fear. Knowing the set-up was completely secure still didn’t alleviate my anxiety. I tried to ease my mind—It’ll be over in seconds…I’m probably the five hundred and eleventh person to use this zip line…my insurance deductible has already been met this year…my kids and many others have been zip lining all evening and they’re still in one piece…

Let me tell you, when you’re afraid of heights—NONE of these things matter—AT ALL.

Without warning, my family freed the pull-rope and there I went zipping along wildly at the expense of Tarzan and his chimp’s amusement, AKA Nate and kids. My emotional state heightened far beyond my physical suspended height, and when it looked as if I was going to smack a tree that sits way too close to the zip line trail it was game over for me. “I don’t like it!!” I shouted down to my amused onlookers.

And then just as soon as it began it ended. It was over. I made it to the end. I was safe.

…I thought about how at an earlier point in my life I had enjoyed the thrill of zip lining and other wild adventures.

But that was before a husband. Before kids. Before adult responsibilities. Continue reading “Finding a New Perspective Through Zip Lining”

A High, Low, and a Funny

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Photography taken by R. Peters

At our house we’ve adopted a great conversation starter when we gather around the table for dinner at the end of the day. Each of us verbally notes our high for the day, then our low, and lastly the funny of our day. It always amazes me how some days we’ve spent all day together yet each of us has something different to point out. Side note: sometimes when it’s my husband’s turn to state his high for the day he’ll keenly rattle off the “high temperature” for the day…before giving us his true answer.☺️

These table conversations are important because they cause us to know one another’s hearts, feelings, cares, and concerns a little more. Our kids enjoy the idea of being the only one in the “family spotlight” for a few moments during their turn, highlighting whatever it is for the day that stuck out most to them. Often times these smaller talks lead to larger discussions, taking it to a deeper level where we can really reflect, analyze, and engage with one another.

Since you and I most likely won’t be sharing dinner any time soon I thought I’d share my high, low, and funny over this past week (via the blog). Please feel free to do the same in the comment section below if you wish. Continue reading “A High, Low, and a Funny”

Reckless Love

There’s a song we sing at church called Reckless Love (you might be familiar with it)…to say I’m quite addicted would be spot on.

I remember the first time we sang it and I thought reckless…God…what??

Because I don’t think of or consider God as reckless, but the word reckless certainly brings to mind the equivalent of “careless or thoughtless” in terms of descriptive character.

In fact when you google-search “reckless,” Merriam Webster’s definition is one of the first to pop-up, defining it as: marked by lack of proper caution, careless of consequences

Sounds pretty negative right?

Continue reading “Reckless Love”

Part 1: Too Incredible to Deny

Just for the record as you read this post, I’m not referring to our foreign exchange student we hosted a few years ago. I’m a youth leader so I have a lot of interaction with jr high and high school kids and this post is in reference to one of the many.

I visited with a young girl who’d been in the United States temporarily. I asked her about her time here and if she’d enjoyed coming to church while she was here (something which was a new experience for her).

Her response: “I do like it, but I don’t believe.”

Me: “Really? Like you don’t believe in God?!”

Her: “No, I don’t.”

Me: (without any hesitation whatsoever, because I lack patience) “So what do you do??!! What do you do when you hurt, when you fear, when you worry, when the bottom drops out?! Where do you place your hope?”

She hesitated thoughtfully… but didn’t have an answer. Continue reading “Part 1: Too Incredible to Deny”

Blogger Recognition Award

Recently a fellow blogging friend sent me a notification that she’d selected me for a Blogging Recognition Award.

This blogging friend is Tina from God’s Kid Speaks. Check her blog out at http://godskidspeaks.wordpress.com/

She’s a fantastic writer with great insight, tons of wisdom, and a plethora of encouragement, and she had received the same award herself a few days before!

Thanks so much Tina for nominating me, this was a first for me also and I truly appreciate it!

I love that this award came at this time because my husband and I just attended an awards banquet a few weeks ago for the company he works for. Each of the employees were recognized and awarded for their number of years of commitment to the company. It was neat to meet and spend time with the CEO of this very successful company, to watch his humble presence and mannerism was absolutely remarkable! So the idea of awards was already fresh in my mind from that. Continue reading “Blogger Recognition Award”

Thank you!!!

August marked one year of for His purpose blog—100ish followers, just over 30 posts, and lots of thought.

I want to take the opportunity to thank every one of you readers. Thank you for taking the time to read, to hit the like button, to comment, to encourage, to support, to drive me to want to continue writing.

Thank you!!

Because of this blog I’ve been able to put words to major parts of my life—parts that never made sense before. Parts of my life that seemed so broken and life shattering—I’ve now found the words to piece the broken areas together for His purpose, and goodness have I ever drawn closer to Him in the midst.

God is good. Continue reading “Thank you!!!”