It’s Okay to Admit When We’re Not Okay

I’ve been kind of a mess lately.

I’ve had corrupt thoughts when I should’ve taken them captive to make them obedient to Him.

I’ve been impatient when I should’ve just prayed.

Spoken words I shouldn’t have while praises were never considered.

Even now this isn’t how I’d love to start off a post but reality and truth must trump comfort if thriving-hope is sought.

I’ve felt lost, confused, and hopeless—empty, reckless, and careless.

Someone recently suggested that it seems I’m overwhelming myself with too much busyness. Ya that could be.

I haven’t been able to navigate through my heart to limit my emotions and concerns.

I humbly share this with you though because in the midst of my crummy attitude I’ve continued to read from God’s word—studying scripture, and reading daily devotions regardless.

And here’s the verse that continually sweeps across my thoughts:

‘So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.’ —Isaiah 55:11

Interestingly this is the same verse I go to when I have hope for an unbeliever who attends a church service or a youth kiddo who seems to care more about impressing the opposite gender rather than listening to the youth pastor’s Bible lesson. This is like my go to “prayer” verse, filled with hope in the way that it basically says ‘God’s word goes out…and even though we think “someone” may not be catching it, we’re reassured that His word, indeed, is accomplishing purpose in that person’s life, some how, some way, and at some point.’ …No different than a seed planted in soil needs a bit of water…we water and water waiting for some sign of life to pop through the dark colored soil and just when we think nothing is going to happen one day it finally does—and that little seed grows into a beautiful, remarkable sight.

I love that. And I’m okay with the fact that I’m kind of that person right now…I may feel a bit far from God right now but I truly believe in the power of those words and I know that even though my attitude has been ugly lately, those words from Isaiah 55:11 are as much for me as they are for someone who doesn’t even believe, yet happens to come across God’s message.

It’s not fun to write stuff like this; there are times when I’ve had people comment on my blog thanking me for some truth they picked up along the way…beautiful…but that’s praise and credit for Jesus, really I’m learning right along with everyone else as I share my words—after all this blog was written for His purpose and glory.

I’ll figure out my mess, it’ll settle, and this too shall pass…because of my hope in Christ.

I think if we’re honest we all have times of frustration, disappointment, and negative alterations to our feelings but we’re also guilty of shying away from sharing. Sometimes that’s pride standing at the forefront of a mound of buried trials. The sweetness of sharing, however, is that we see how alike we are even though our struggles look different…and the risk of not sharing is that we miss opportunities to build relationships. When we share with one another we find that we’re not alone. God made us for relationship with others and with Him. (Genesis 2:18, John 3:16)

It’s good, and healthy even, to be willing to echo the words of David in Psalm 139:23-24, ‘Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’

May we all be bold enough to claim that verse into a prayer over our lives—in light that we may grow into something magnificent…for His purpose.

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” —Isaiah 1:18

The Matthew Project

…Where to even begin this post?…I’m currently taking a class by the name of Perspectives, some of you may be familiar with the name. It’s probably one of the most challenging (yet spiritually rewarding) classes I’ve ever taken — lots of reading, extra studying, and gobs of extensive vocabulary that I’m not always familiar with. This class thoroughly drives home the point of seeing Matthew 24:15 and Matthew 28:19 come to fruition as Christians literally live out these scriptures by fulfilling the calling in each of our lives.

Matthew 24:14 And the gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

Matthew 28:19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

When our lives follow Jesus and we have a healthy relationship and right standing with Him, we as Christians know how incredibly important Matthew 24:14 truly is. And we longingly look forward to the day of Jesus’ return. In the meantime however Matthew 28:19 absolutely has to be happening and requires our obedience!

As I’ve studied in Perspectives, my little self-focused world has been rocked in a huge way as I gain a new “perspective” on my role in helping to spread God’s word to the ends of the earth…even if it’s just right in my own community — which brings me to the idea of this very post.

K stay with me!! Continue reading “The Matthew Project”

He❤️rt Lessons

This is my son Warren’s first year in public school and he’s loving it! In fact the other day I casually asked him if he wanted to be in public school or homeschooled again and he informed me that no way was he doing school at home again… “sorry mom,” he said, “but I can actually understand math now!” …well okay then son!

This past week they had to make Valentine boxes. I wish I had thought to take a picture of it for the sake of this post but I wasn’t that organized and it’s at school now, so no picture at the moment. He made a shoebox to look like a Pokeball (Pokémon) by painting it with red, white, and black. It turned out nice and was super simple. I bought him a large bag of individually packaged Skittles candies with Valentine cards to attach and pass out for their class party.

The evening that he made out the Valentine cards he happened to have his homeschooled sister help with the job. I didn’t think anything of it and heard the two of them spouting out his classmate’s names along with teacher’s names as they wrote them out. Continue reading “He❤️rt Lessons”

Patience Required

I was introduced to someone this past year and as necessary have needed to maintain communication and a relationship (with this person) due to responsibility.

This relationship has absolutely tore me to pieces as we haven’t connected too well.

There have been times I feel like I’m walking on egg shells—not knowing if the next thing I say is going to offend or build positive character…wondering if my quirky demeanor was understood or rejected…if the quietness of this person is caused by something I’ve done or if it’s just a normal characteristic of theirs. Continue reading “Patience Required”

A Lasting Season of Joy

This past month, in my fourth and fifth grade Sunday school class, I’ve been working through a lesson on the topic of joy with the kids. They’ve shared about circumstances that seem unfair and yet they can pinpoint how joy can be found in that situation nevertheless.

For example when a friend breaks a promise, doesn’t keep their word, and let’s us down we can choose to find joy in the fact that God always keeps His promises. He’s the author of the Living Word. And He will never let us down; Psalm 54:4 reminds us that ‘God is our helper and the upholder of our lives.’ People are imperfect and fallible, but when we consider our relationships we can find joy in the truth that God is always trustworthy and capable with us. Continue reading “A Lasting Season of Joy”

Quiet Time Necessity

Sometimes when I substitute teach, my job assignment stretches beyond the classroom.

Recently I ended up in the school’s lunchroom to supervise bubbly elementary students. An extended squirming hand raised high let’s the adults know when attention is needed—usually indicating milk cartons are being stubborn and extra help is needed in opening them, maybe a kiddo wants permission to pass on their veggies, or he or she is ready to dump their tray once they’ve finished eating.

While I helped a few weeks ago, a hand went up and I walked over.

A little girl, probably second grade, looked up at me with sad eyes and I knew we weren’t dealing with regular lunch issues. I knelt down beside her and asked what was wrong. With tears welled in the corners of her eyes she spoke through pouty lips, “I want to sit alone right now.”

“Well why? What’s going on?” I asked with concern. Continue reading “Quiet Time Necessity”

Autumn Updates 2019

Whew! It’s been a while!

After that last (deep-thought) post I wrote I’ve honestly just had to take a break and continue to work on myself—my mental health, my heart—and I can honestly say I feel sooooo amazingly good. I’m in a good place right now—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’ll share more on this in a future post but right now I just want to share (with y’all) some other fun updates happening in our household currently.

Nate and I had our 15 year anniversary/fall party last month and had over sixty of our family and friends show up! It was a ton of fun! We probably should’ve had it catered because I felt like Nathan and I were so busy with food prep, etc. that it was hard to visit with everyone. I had a lot of people tell me in the days following that they had such a good time and that fellowship happened — regardless of how unorganized I felt like it was; I guess I was the only one who noticed.❤️

Continue reading “Autumn Updates 2019”