It’s Okay to Admit When We’re Not Okay

I’ve been kind of a mess lately.

I’ve had corrupt thoughts when I should’ve taken them captive to make them obedient to Him.

I’ve been impatient when I should’ve just prayed.

Spoken words I shouldn’t have while praises were never considered.

Even now this isn’t how I’d love to start off a post but reality and truth must trump comfort if thriving-hope is sought.

I’ve felt lost, confused, and hopeless—empty, reckless, and careless.

Someone recently suggested that it seems I’m overwhelming myself with too much busyness. Ya that could be.

I haven’t been able to navigate through my heart to limit my emotions and concerns.

I humbly share this with you though because in the midst of my crummy attitude I’ve continued to read from God’s word—studying scripture, and reading daily devotions regardless.

And here’s the verse that continually sweeps across my thoughts:

‘So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.’ —Isaiah 55:11

Interestingly this is the same verse I go to when I have hope for an unbeliever who attends a church service or a youth kiddo who seems to care more about impressing the opposite gender rather than listening to the youth pastor’s Bible lesson. This is like my go to “prayer” verse, filled with hope in the way that it basically says ‘God’s word goes out…and even though we think “someone” may not be catching it, we’re reassured that His word, indeed, is accomplishing purpose in that person’s life, some how, some way, and at some point.’ …No different than a seed planted in soil needs a bit of water…we water and water waiting for some sign of life to pop through the dark colored soil and just when we think nothing is going to happen one day it finally does—and that little seed grows into a beautiful, remarkable sight.

I love that. And I’m okay with the fact that I’m kind of that person right now…I may feel a bit far from God right now but I truly believe in the power of those words and I know that even though my attitude has been ugly lately, those words from Isaiah 55:11 are as much for me as they are for someone who doesn’t even believe, yet happens to come across God’s message.

It’s not fun to write stuff like this; there are times when I’ve had people comment on my blog thanking me for some truth they picked up along the way…beautiful…but that’s praise and credit for Jesus, really I’m learning right along with everyone else as I share my words—after all this blog was written for His purpose and glory.

I’ll figure out my mess, it’ll settle, and this too shall pass…because of my hope in Christ.

I think if we’re honest we all have times of frustration, disappointment, and negative alterations to our feelings but we’re also guilty of shying away from sharing. Sometimes that’s pride standing at the forefront of a mound of buried trials. The sweetness of sharing, however, is that we see how alike we are even though our struggles look different…and the risk of not sharing is that we miss opportunities to build relationships. When we share with one another we find that we’re not alone. God made us for relationship with others and with Him. (Genesis 2:18, John 3:16)

It’s good, and healthy even, to be willing to echo the words of David in Psalm 139:23-24, ‘Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’

May we all be bold enough to claim that verse into a prayer over our lives—in light that we may grow into something magnificent…for His purpose.

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” —Isaiah 1:18