16 Marriage Tips by Nate and Alicia

Tomorrow, September 25, puts Nate and I at number sixteen for our anniversary years so I thought it’d be fun to create a blog post offering sixteen marriage tips or pieces of advice. And I got Nate in on it too!!

Newlyweds, kids or no kids, empty nesters — hope these tips are helpful!

They’re listed in no specific order by the way.

1. Discuss your own love language with one another and speak each other’s as well. Super important!!!

Which of these makes you feel loved by your spouse and which one makes your spouse feel loved — Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, or Physical Touch

2. Do projects together.

Whether it’s just hanging up shelves or building a she-shed for your lady, create and work alongside one another. It’s awesome to be able to step back and admire your work later on.

3. Put your spouse’s needs before kiddos.

I know this is a hard one but if you think about it you and your lovey came before your kids…

So (for example) when entering the house from work greet each other with a hello and kiss first and foremost and then move on to the kids. From this one act your kiddos will see that your marriage is healthy, in order, and that you two are the bosses. It will also help them feel that they’re in a safe zone and well taken care of. Kids thrive off of peace and orderly conduct.

‘Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.’ — Ephesians 5:22-24

4. Laugh. Don’t be too serious.

This was a text between Nate and I one time which isn’t out of the normal. We can be serious but I’m 40% sure that we’re silly a majority of the time.

5. Have date nights. (copyrighted by Nate)

Seriously your children need to know and witness that mom and dad are happily married, healthy, and in love. Set an example by doing little dates, even if those dates can only happen at home.

Drink a cup of coffee in the mornings, workout, take a walk, rub each other’s feet (I “stink” at doing this one)

Make little points to be connecting with one another so your children can see this happening.

6. Take care of one another in helpful ways.

Examples: Whoever has time be the one to make breakfasts, help with dish duty, wash or vacuum the other one’s car, switch laundry over or fold clothes, sweep/mop, etc.

I promise if you make a habit of chiming in on these little chores your spouse will notice!

7. Encourage with notes or texts. Give compliments.

Recently one morning I went into the bathroom and found this sweet note Nate had hung on the mirror. He came up with the idea on his own…and I probably skipped putting on blush that day!!

8. Thank your spouse.

When you notice or appreciate the good they do (or them helping out) don’t take those moments for granted. Let your spouse know your appreciation.

*Side-note: Nate and I attended a marriage conference last year and the couple who were speaking told us that after doing a recent study it showed that ‘men actually feel most loved and appreciated when their spouse simply and genuinely acknowledges their good work and then thanks them.’

9. Team work.

Make the bed together, cook/bake together, clean together, do yard work together, budget together, etc.

Don’t miss that word — “together”.

10. Respect one another so you both feel loved.

Value one another’s opinions/advice. Be supportive of emotions and concerns.

Nate suggested to remember “happy wife, happy life” …I’m gonna rename this though because I think it needs to be two-way so I’m going with “happy spouse, happy house”.

11. Communicate well.

Listen to each other. Ask questions. Seek marriage counseling if needed.

12. Entertain one another’s interests.

They say opposites attract. If your spouse enjoys things that don’t quite appeal to you do them anyway!! …garage saleing, hunting, golfing, shopping, etc.

13. Start a new hobby TOGETHER.

…frisbee golf, Nate said clogging (where you do some folk dancing, I think he’s just being a nerd but now he’s google searching it as I’m writing) learn an instrument, etc.

14. For the Christian couple do a Bible study, just the two of you alone or in a small group through a church setting.

And if you’re not Christians go check it out, you won’t be disappointed.

15. Always say I love you before bed or when leaving each other for work or wherever.

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” —Ephesians 4:26

16. And yes I’m gonna go here — I don’t care if physical touch is a love language of yours or not — MAKE LOVE!!

No extra commentary needed for this one.

Well except that the Bible even says to:

“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” — 1 Corinthians 7:5

All of these tips take patience and practice. This list is not exhaustive and definitely not perfected by us, but it’s things Nate and I strive to accomplish. By doing these things we build our relationship and also help our three attentive mockers know what to look for one day in a future spouse.

I love you Nathan! Thank you for encouraging me as a writer, wife, and mother! You (and our faith in Jesus) are my favorite piece to sixteen years of marriage!!

Author: alimw2013

About For His Purpose~ My name is Alicia and I'm a thirty-something year old who loves Jesus. Only through God’s amazing grace and mercy I have been redeemed from past regret and shame. Reading His word has allowed me to look past Satan’s forceful lies, to see myself for who Christ says I am in Him. Through writing I have learned why I made the choices I made in my younger years and I now have a better understanding of why I desire to love God like crazy these days. Despite my daily failures, God remains faithful always. I am reassured of His unconditional love for me by every ink-drop spilled out on paper, each committed prayer as I cry out to Him, and deep understanding reflected through reading His word as truth. Yes keeping a blog will make me vulnerable to others’ opinions- there will be some who don’t understand, some who may criticize or judge, but on the other hand if just one piece expressed through my writing grabs someone’s attention and directs them to God, then pouring out my heart in a blog for the world to read is worth it. I choose to glorify Him alone through words streaming across a glowing screen. And it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t reveal the fact that I’m incredibly quirky; I’m my loving husband’s best friend, my vivacious kids’ craziest cheerleader and spiritual trainer (3 John 1:4). I love anything farmhouse and rustic style. I think cupping a warm coffee mug in the palm of my hands is more satisfying than the contents within. I share a common obsession with my husband for the mountains, but I would (without a doubt) settle for waves crashing against my legs at the Atlantic Ocean just as well, and I almost always have a Yorkie curled up on my lap while writing. *All photos are photographed by forhispurpose.blog and therefore may not be stored or photocopied in any manner.

50 thoughts on “16 Marriage Tips by Nate and Alicia”

    1. It’s funny because as we had the idea to write it I was thinking it would be hard to come up with 16 tips but then in the end I had to go through and get rid of some so that we ended up with just the 16… I thought it could make a fun book also!!
      Thanks for your encouragement!!

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    1. Ya we don’t get many date nights just because it’s $$$ but we make sure we make time to bond….Tomorrow night (on our actual anniversary) our date night will consist of the kids making us supper…pancakes, eggs…and I splurged and bought bacon!!😂❤️

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  5. Great stuff! I can honestly say Betsy and I have all sixteen of these covered, and this past August 6th marked 37 years of marriage for us. I’d say you are on to something here.
    Blessings,
    Pastor Chuck
    PS: It’s good to know that Bets and I aren’t the only ones who send silly texts to one another!
    C

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  7. Happy Anniversary. it will be 56 years for us next month and I can speak from experience that the most important thing that has kept our marriage together is one thing, dying to self. Even though we have had some hard years, this one rule has always been the foundation for our marriage. Inside dying to self is all those thing you wrote about , give or take a few more and fitter to ones marriage. It’s not easy to be married at times, takes a lot of work and I think this is what trip so many up if they do not expect that. Great post.

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    1. Ya you’re right it does take a lot of work! Breaks my heart when people give up so quick.
      And yes dying to self is so important and Biblical as well!!! Gotta put others needs first… reminds me of joy=Jesus, others, yourself.

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  9. Congratulations sis! I love all you have written. Your #3 is not popular but many marriages would flourish and children would be happier if most people would take your advice. Yes, dewwww it! That was funny. What’s a marriage without humor?! The one thing I really need to do is start a new hobby with my spouse. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Yeah number three was hard to write just because I know that the world doesn’t really understand that concept sadly….
      And awe the hobby…for us it’s hard to make time for that one!! I’d love for Nathan to learn how to play the guitar with me and I am still very much an amateur at it, it’s so hard to find the time to fit hobbies in!!

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      1. Interestingly I also considered learning to play the guitar with my spouse. I mentioned it yesterday. Yes, it’s hard to fit hobbies in☺
        I was also thinking of how complicated #3 would be for blended families. It would take a lot of heart work and Jesus to accept #3.

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      2. Oh I love that you talked with your husband about playing guitar…such an amazing instrument.

        And no kidding, number 3 is a challenge for my children who have the same mama and Dad, we’ve discussed the importance thoroughly with them and they still get a bit selfish over it😉❤️

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  14. Happy Anniversary! I love your tips. I grew up with parents who didn’t make most of these efforts and don’t seem to truly care for or respect each other. Even as a child, I could see it was unhealthy. Marriages that turn loveless are so sad. I want to have a marriage like yours!

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    1. Ahhh can I be honest Lily…I kept thinking of you as we were writing these out because I know you’ll be getting married soon!! I pray your marriage will be strong and healthy!! Ours was not this way always until our late twenties (we’re 36 and 35 now) when we invited God to be a part of it..praise to Him!!!

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    1. Thank you!! It was a fun to one to write! We could’ve kept going; it was funny because when we first thought of the idea to make this post I was afraid we wouldn’t even be able to come up with five things but then all of a sudden we were overwhelmed with ideas and had to cut some out!

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  20. First let me say Happy Belated Anniversary! Second, I want to thank you both for this blog. I am newly married (3 years) but it has been rocky to say the least. We were on the brink of divorce but have decided to try and make it work. I definitely will be sharing this with my husband and working on these tips! Thanks again.

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    1. Ahhhh so sweet!!! I’m behind on checking in on my blog but your comment pulls my heart!!! Don’t give up, try Christian counseling if you haven’t…Satan wants the worst but when you and your husband said ‘I do’ you probably meant it until death do you part…that’s where Jesus comes in and He’s always readily available to go to battle for you, your husband, and your marriage…’what Satan intends for evil, God intends it all for good.’ Genesis 50:20
      Fight for your marriage, God goes before you guys as you navigate the mess…you might have to go straight through the fire but you’re not alone..Which reminds me to recommend watching the movie Fireproof if you haven’t…or even if you have maybe it’d be a good refresher….sweet blessings girl!!! Prayers!!!!!❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

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