My almost fifteen year old daughter, Paige, is now old enough to drive with a school permit to and from school since we live outside of town.
That thought doesn’t at all settle well with me.
When I was seventeen my family was involved in a horrible car accident that took my father’s life…sometimes my mind trails back to that blacktop road and that ugly scene that forever changed my little world…
Now that my oldest child is behind the wheel I’ve struggled. I have such an uneasy feeling at the idea of my girl driving to school without an adult in the vehicle (or anywhere for that matter once she gets her actual driver’s license.)
In fact Paige has technically been of age for the past year to use the school permit and I have yet to allow it to happen. My mama bear instinct just wants to jump in and take over. As she’s practiced driving with her dad and I she’s done well, but I just can’t seem to get over that large bump in the road of my messy mind — the one of her driving without us in the seat next to her.
So I’m working on my thought patterns and I’m in a new book by Jennie Allen titled, Get Out of Your Head. Jennie shares about her own struggles in life and writes about the idea of overcoming those thoughts that lead to a negative downward spiral.
I love the words from 2 Corinthians 10 verses 3 through 5 where Paul writes, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
I have to truly live out taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ, especially the negative ones I have lately of my teenage daughter driving.
Jennie uses these verses of Paul’s in her book to magnify just how important, necessary, and doable it is ‘to destroy the lies that dominate our thought patterns.’
Remember I mentioned that I can’t get over Paige driving without an adult in the vehicle, that’s where my hang up happens…but the truth is she is so covered in security because Jesus is with her all the time…in or out of the car…and the bottom line is He’s by far a better protector than I can (or will) ever be.
That’s a thought I have to hold tightly to otherwise I’m setting myself up for failure and I’ll be darned if Paige nabs hold of my anxiety for herself.
This book of Jennie’s challenges me to ‘interrupt negative thought patterns’ by remembering ‘I have a choice.’
I have a choice.
I can choose to trust Jesus more than the obstacle. I can choose to believe He is perfectly in control. I can choose to love that His word navigates me along a trustworthy path…otherwise the most notable “driving log” is going to be the one where I drive myself and my family crazy.
Y’all I don’t know if you’re facing a struggle of some sort, if you’re trying to take matters in your own hands (or out of your daughter’s) but getting into scripture and reading Christian resources is absolutely hands down beneficial to our faith.
Click here to purchase a copy of Jennie’s book: Get Out of Your Head
I may not be quite ready to let Paige have a go on her own just yet but I’m getting closer and the more I ride alongside her the more I see her improving and I become more comfortable with the idea of her driving alone soon. It’s so ironically beautiful because it reminds me of the fact that the more time I spend in prayer, God’s word, and with fellow believers the more comfortable and closer I feel to Jesus. With out a doubt I know I’m on the right road even given the turns and bumps along the way because the truth is those obstacles give way for the opportunity of perseverance through Him. And though struggles are never much fun, we have the choice ultimately to let Jesus take the wheel (spiritually) over our fears or messes every time!!
Awe just look at her sweet face…she was appalled that I took that picture!❤️
If it helps, I was crazy enough to let my son drive home from the DMV the day he got his learner’s permit. It was lunchtime and the traffic was CRAZY!! But we both survived!
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Oh my!! Yes I need to keep in mind this is a normal process and part of growing up!!!
Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and encouraging!!❤️ It was awesome to visit with you last Saturday, are you joining tomorrow?
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No, I have to opick upo my daughter form her summer job in WI.
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Oh, Alicia. I raised three daughters. My 21 year old still doesn’t have her DL. I taught my girls to drive and I was like bacon-on-skillet. When my middle girl & I lived alone together, all we had was a bid Isuzu Trooper SUV. It was a tank & she was so small, even as a 16 year old. After teaching her to drive it, with wailing & nashing of teeth, it was time for her driver’s test. She was forced to use a mid-sized car for the exam. She flunked. She could drive a huge tank, but a smaller car, not so much. Then the 2nd attempt for the test came. She scored well. Two days later she says, “So, dad. Uh…..can I have the Trooper tonight?”. FEAR took over my body. It wasn’t long after that her great-gran bought her a Chevy Cavalier. I needed that sigh of relief at that time in our lives. I feel your pain. Jesus is in the backseat. God’s GRIP – Alan
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Goodness Alan not sure if this made me feel any better!😅and why doesn’t the 21 year old have a driver’s License?? She’s terrified?!!?
Ahhhh ya Paige has my depth perception…so not good!!! We live outside of town and there’s no shoulder on our road so I get nervous about her dropping off of the road…when it’s winter weather and slick out well I can’t even fathom that!!!
I do honestly trust that I will overcome and I honestly feel better even after writing this post!
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I’m just glad those years in the parenting area are over for me. As for my 21 year old, I have no idea why she doesn’t feel the need to get her DL. I spent a good year teaching her how to drive. Arg.
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😂😂😂This gives me a laugh!!….I guess the no driving helps alleviate a bit of stress for you….maybe a bit for her too!!!
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I am reading that book now as well! It has some great information. I can definitely understand your anxiety. And I am so sorry about your dad. That is tough. Only Jesus can help us move past that kind of fear. Praying for you and the whole situation! Thanks for the great tips on how to choose different thought patterns.
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Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement!!!! You’re right, I can only get past this (like I have other bumps in the road) by the help of Jesus! ❤️🙏
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Does she know you used the picture in your post? 🙂
Yes Jesus will take care of her. But if the roads are icy, maybe you drive 🙂
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Ya Paige knows I used the pic and she’s not impressed 😂
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The picture is great, so tell Paige she doesn’t need to be appalled. 🙂 And this blog with your encouraging and wise words is great, as well. Letting go is certainly part of our children’s growth as well as our own, but it’s hard. One step and one day at a time, and you’ll look back and be amazed at the growth – yours and hers. Just like you said, it’s true of our walk with God, too. Navigating the obstacles brings about perseverance. God bless you with very calm nerves, my friend! 🙂
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Thank you so much! Your sweet, encouraging words are a blessing to my heart!! ❤️🙏
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I can totally relate. My 15y/o now has her learner’s permit and is enrolled in driver’s ed. She was so excited to get her permit, it is exciting and I was fighting back tears.
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Oh ya it’s a bit hard on these mama hearts as our “babies” grow up!!
I should really look into driver’s ed for Paige!!!!
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I need to read that book! I added it to my cart so I don’t forget it.
I will be going through this in a few years and I’m already freaking out about it. I’ll be keeping both your daughter and you in my prayers! ❤️
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Thank you so much Michelle!! We need those prayers🙏
And ya it’s a great book!❤️
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My parents wanted someone to run errands for them and couldn’t WAIT for us kids to get our driver’s licenses. I think I was more scared than they were. But my parents were third generation farmers and they both learned to drive as soon as they were tall enough to see above the steering wheel, so that’s probably why they weren’t worried.
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Ahhh I love that!! I wish I wasn’t worried!!
Paige talks about riding somewhere with friends and boy that freaks me out even more!!
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Being a father of three grown daughters, I understand where you are coming from. You will know when the right time arrives for Paige to drive solo. God has given you and your husband the means to prepare her. God’s peace!
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Thank you so much for those encouraging words!! I can feel His peace covering this worry of mine more and more as the day gets to Paige driving solo❤️🙏
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Our oldest is turning 14 very shortly so I know this is coming. I am dreading it 🙂 I mean, I am happy for the independence she will have and learn to use, but man oh man, am I having a nervous breakdown! That being said, I got my permit and license as soon as was possible so I guess I’m going to have to follow suit and let her go….gulp..praying for you! God Bless!
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It seriously comforts me knowing these feeling must be normal…more so that we can discuss, relate, and encourage!!
I’ll be praying over your concern as well!! We can’t let Satan mess with our minds!!! God is bigger!!
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I don’t know why I’m not seeing your posts in my reader. I’m very behind on them apparently! Anyhow, I would be you and will be you in a couple of years. I have such a fear of my children driving, not because I don’t trust them but because I don’t trust other drivers. And oh my gosh…you mentioned the verse today that I’ve been trying to remember so I can say it to myself when I imagine the worse things that could be happening to me healthwise or the worse things that can happen in the world, etc. I am definitely looking up this book today because I need it! Thank you for sharing this, Alicia!
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Also, I’m so sorry about your dad. 😦
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Thank you!!❤️ I miss him much!!!
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Oh that’s soooooo awesome that it was the verse you’ve been trying to think of!!! God is so awesome!
How old is your son? The driving thing is definitely tough but I’m beginning to think “hey if we have our kids following the Lord we have the most important part of their life on the right track,” obviously they have to “own” it for themselves but all in all I guess I’m saying my concern of their faith should be more of a concern than anything, including this darn driving thing.
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He will be 14 in a couple months. 😭😭😭
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Time Goes by too quickly!!
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Awww mama. I am saddened by the trauma you faced losing your father too early in such manner. I hope that your daughter understands why you have been holding back. I am glad you’ve got the Word as an anchor in every storm. What can we do without the Bible and the revelation God shares through other believers!?! God has indeed given us all we need to overcome life’s challenges. Thank you for sharing.
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Yup there’s just nothing that provides hope like His word of truth!!
I think Paige does understand my concern but maybe not in a grace-filled way😏more like a “move on mom” attitude..I get that she’s that age though so she’s excited to drive.
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Aww. She will get it with time ❤
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🙏❤️
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Always love to see your smiling face, Ali! Such a great post. It’s also great that you are a protective mana, but yep you gotta give them room to grow and spending more time with God is the way to go. There you go, wrote a little poetry for you! 😃 ❤ Love you mini me. 😃
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Hahahaha ❤️love that!!!
Yup His word holds the answer to comfort and peace…
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I’ve never heard of a school permit before. They let them drive without going through driver’s ed??? Sorry, but I lived for years a mile from the large local highschool. I was told that the police were called for an accident pretty much every day. I believe all that controlling your fearful thoughts and all, but God gives us the wisdom to know if our children are really ready for such things, and He expects us to use it.
That being said, I think my 3 oldest had their licenses before they were 17, but they also had jobs to pay for their car insurance and gas. My younger two are 17 and 19 and still don’t have their license.
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Yeah Paige doesn’t have to do drivers Ed if she doesn’t want to, she is however to complete 50 hours of driving within three months but it’s taking us forever to get there and we definitely will not allow her to use the school permit or get her drivers license until we feel confident that she is ready!!
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How does she know the rules of the road if she doesn’t take driver’s ed? Study online? Or do they expect the parents to do a perfect job teaching the rules while they put their lives in peril? 😁
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Ya exactly the latter of the two..it’s ridiculous.
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Wow. It just doesn’t make sense.
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