Patience Required

I was introduced to someone this past year and as necessary have needed to maintain communication and a relationship (with this person) due to responsibility.

This relationship has absolutely tore me to pieces as we haven’t connected too well.

There have been times I feel like I’m walking on egg shells—not knowing if the next thing I say is going to offend or build positive character…wondering if my quirky demeanor was understood or rejected…if the quietness of this person is caused by something I’ve done or if it’s just a normal characteristic of theirs.

It’s interesting because I had plenty of time to prepare for our meeting one another. I can literally remember beforehand praying the words “God help us to show (said person) an amazing Jesus. Help us to not miss the opportunity for *** to see you through our family, for your glory…” and now here we are months in and goodness as my patience has been tested, stretched, and grown I’m the one experiencing Jesus in a whole new way. I’m praying with 100% reliance on God to work through me and in this.

In the past I’ve probably been guilty of praying yet doubting God’s capability or His timing, and not fully trusting God with my request…but this has been such an incredible game changer. Yes this experience has caused me more mental battles than I could’ve ever imagined possible, more tears of frustration, or worry of failure…BUT, with that, I’ve been challenged to press into God on a deeper level and hold onto His word as I study scripture to live out peaceful hope.

This morning as I was reading a devotion I came across Matthew 7; verses 1-5 say this, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye, and all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite? First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Ouch…conviction time.

Although I have many times felt confused or irritated by this relationship, and have had to pray repeatedly for more grace, these verses grab my heart with conviction and remind me that God is in this and it’s not for me to judge or try to figure out all the details.

As I mentioned this deal has tore me to pieces but the beautiful thing is when something important to God gets torn up, purposeful rebuilding happens. I’ve seen it in my marriage, through people who have overcome addiction and given their life to Christ. There’s evidence all throughout the Bible—look at the hardships and later success of Joseph (Genesis 37-50), or the devotion of Daniel regardless of the adversity he faced (book of Daniel), and even the sins of David yet the remorse and heart for God he had (Psalm 51).

…all torn apart (emotionally) and nevertheless beautifully rebuilt.

There is definitely something for me to learn through this, especially in the area of patience. And recently, as time has passed, I’ve seen positive changes on both sides, surely God is at work…I can actually feel this relationship gradually twisting from acquaintance to friendship and God alone is to be glorified for answering prayer.

Sharing this post causes me to feel a little guilty…but I’ve noticed that when I put my thoughts to the blogging world I’m then held accountable on a different level and honestly that’s what I need right now.

Thanks for reading. Happy New Year if I don’t post again soon!!❤️

-Alicia

Author: alimw2013

About For His Purpose~ My name is Alicia and I'm a thirty-something year old who loves Jesus. Only through God’s amazing grace and mercy I have been redeemed from past regret and shame. Reading His word has allowed me to look past Satan’s forceful lies, to see myself for who Christ says I am in Him. Through writing I have learned why I made the choices I made in my younger years and I now have a better understanding of why I desire to love God like crazy these days. Despite my daily failures, God remains faithful always. I am reassured of His unconditional love for me by every ink-drop spilled out on paper, each committed prayer as I cry out to Him, and deep understanding reflected through reading His word as truth. Yes keeping a blog will make me vulnerable to others’ opinions- there will be some who don’t understand, some who may criticize or judge, but on the other hand if just one piece expressed through my writing grabs someone’s attention and directs them to God, then pouring out my heart in a blog for the world to read is worth it. I choose to glorify Him alone through words streaming across a glowing screen. And it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t reveal the fact that I’m incredibly quirky; I’m my loving husband’s best friend, my vivacious kids’ craziest cheerleader and spiritual trainer (3 John 1:4). I love anything farmhouse and rustic style. I think cupping a warm coffee mug in the palm of my hands is more satisfying than the contents within. I share a common obsession with my husband for the mountains, but I would (without a doubt) settle for waves crashing against my legs at the Atlantic Ocean just as well, and I almost always have a Yorkie curled up on my lap while writing. *All photos are photographed by forhispurpose.blog and therefore may not be stored or photocopied in any manner.

36 thoughts on “Patience Required”

    2. I love how you so eloquently write about your experiences this side of heaven. Thank you for sharing your heart! I am certain that this person is being blessed by you and will continue to be blessed by how you run hard after Jesus. Sometimes we don’t see the fruit and have to trust God is working but we KNOW that He always is! ❤️

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      1. Oh thank you so much my beautiful friend!! Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment!! I love the encouragement you’ve left here!! Love you bunches!!

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  3. Oh, Alicia. I know this kind of challenge. It is not for the weak, but for the spiritual Navy Seal. I should know, I stupidly married an addictive personality with many vices. Over five years of trying to pull her up out of the muddy pits, she almost killed me… literally. If you are connecting better, and you see God moving in this person, you just might be a champ the Lord is using. God’s grip, Alan

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  7. I have more than one person like this in my life and it is haaaaaard . I hear you. I’ve grown through dealing with some of them and some I had to walk away from for my own physical and mental health.

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  12. Alicia, you will not believe this! Since August I have been living the pains of a new relationship too. Everything has changed, comfort is gone, what I used to be able to say in honesty is now wrapped in worries of how we will be judged. Everything in me wanted to run away. But God. ❤️ I started a 30 days online devotion by Christine Caine called “30:Days to Greater Faith.” What happened was I changed to make myself obedient and in-line with the Lord. The relationship has not changed a bit except to be more and more radical. I continue to do my best to trust the Lord and believe I just can’t see the whole picture, but it’s hard and has created an open wound in my heart. However, God loves to fix broken things so I continue to trust in Him. I pray daily and keep my ears open for direction. Thank you for bravely sharing. Happy New Year!

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    1. Ahhh thanks so much for your awesome comment…these relationship situations are tough but trusting that our God is bigger can pull us through the obstacles!!!
      I’m going to have to look up that devotion, I’m interested because I’m still desperately and continually in need of encouragement with my personal situation. I’ll be praying for you over your relationship, I think it’s beautiful that you made the move of effort and commitment on your end though by devoting time and heart to that 30 day devotion!!❤️ I love that!!!

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      1. The Lord reminded me that their behavior is His concern unless He tells me otherwise. I do have a part and it is to love (above all) and focus on my own behavior. I had to write down every hurt, and get down to the foundation of what was the most painful then tell our Jesus. Getting it out of my head stopped me from reliving it…, most days. If someone asks me about it, I cannot discuss it or I will return to the pit. My thoughts and feelings are now reserved for God alone and at times my husband. I truly hope this helps you too. I use an online Bible called YouVersion and incorporated are multiple plans. The one I mentioned is there and I love the wrap up that helped me remember that I cannot allow them to take me from my appointed task. I pray it helps you too.

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      2. I love what you’ve said here: “My thoughts and feelings are now reserved for God alone and at times my husband.”
        That’s also where my mindset has gone as well, otherwise when people would ask about my situation and I’d try to explain, it felt even more complicated…Writing out this post has truly helped though.

        I use YouVersion also, found that particular devotion and read day one! It really seems like it will be spiritually beneficial!! I’m curious to see how God will continue to work in my situation!!! Thank you for sharing your comment with me, great encouragement!!!

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      3. Thank you for sharing with me too. The struggle to behave and not speak out in my flesh is real. I had to accept my wrong thinking about how to handle it, and why I even needed to handle it. When I considered every angle of “my way” God was not glorified and in the long run it did more damage. Just because it’s true doesn’t mean I need to do anything or say anything! In my case, God’s answer was loud and clear. It’s His not mine. My role was even more defined in this study. Most important, I feel so free because I no longer have this self-assigned task.

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      4. Ya that makes sense! Everything you’ve said here is what I also have felt and realized…so thankful we have God’s word and the Holy Spirit to show us the right way …and now I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:13
        ‘No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.’
        Praise Him!

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  15. Thank you for posting. I know it takes a lot to put yourself out there. I find it amusing sometimes when I think I start to peak in a particular area. Once it was faith and when everything in my life was seemingly stripped away, I found out how little faith I had. I thought I had patience until I was placed in certain circumstances that required more patience than I could muster up. If there is one thing I am accomplishing, it is continually being humbled by God. It is living proof He is always at work within each of us!

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    1. Oh yes I love what you’ve shared here…and realizing that we’re fallible and in desperate need of a Savior, causes us to put full reliance on God when we have a right relationship with Him…it’s there where we see that our lives were truly designed to be in relationship with Him so that we can glorify Him as we navigate through the messes of life

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