I’m So Glad You’re The One Taking Care Of Me Today (PART 2)

Losing someone unexpectedly is one of the hardest parts of life.

There’s the ‘what if’ questions…

What if (he or she) was still here? What if I could’ve told them what I didn’t get to? Or what if I’d have been more present?

I wrote in PART ONE of this post that my dad, in his helpless, quadriplegic body, looked my mom in the eyes the day he died and said, “I’m so glad you’re the one taking care of me today.”

What if, like my dad, I looked at the glass as half-full, rather than half-empty?

What if I focused on the sweet memories I have of my dad? What if I held onto the time I spent with him, rather than dreaming of times that never got to happen?

Well, what if???…

My problem with ‘what if’ is that it always ends with a question mark, leaving room to wonder and it has no attached-guarantee—meaning you may or may not do it; it may or may not happen.

Honestly the words ‘what if’ don’t hold much hope if they’re not put to action. When the words ‘what if’ transition over to action-based verbs they’re replaced with words such as ‘I do’ and ‘I will’ …those are (helping) verbs that can make a difference. Statements using ‘I do’ and ‘I will’ create certainty, boldness, and motivation.

My mindset needs to be action-based, not wavering with ‘what ifs’!

Here’s how that can look for myself:

I WILL focus on the sweet memories I have of my dad. I WILL cherish the time I was able to spend with him.

Or…I DO intentionally look for opportunities to be a blessing to others.

…And I WILL (in my prayers) adopt my dad’s very words and praise God saying, “I’m so glad you’re the one taking care of me today”…

In those statements there’s no place for ‘what if’.

Positive ‘action-based‘ mentality can make an incredible difference by letting go of the ‘what if’ questions.

My mom still lives in the same house I grew up in. There was never a reason to move after the car accident since my dad didn’t survive; he was the only reason we had originally planned to move anyway.

Last week we celebrated the Fourth of July and keeping tradition we headed over to my mom’s for the day.

While we sat outback, I thought of a wooden ladder that had kept coming to my mind recently. The one my dad used every now and then for his work. I wondered if it was still around. Curiosity led me into the garage where few of my dad’s belongings still sit.

Propped up against a dusty white wall was that old wooden ladder in three parts. It’s one you put together from three separate pieces. I liked the looks of the middle piece and pulled it from the other two. Carrying it from the garage, I let my mom know I was taking it home with me.

For someone who’s a “farmhouse-style enthusiast” it looked as if it’d make the perfect blanket holder…

I left it pretty original, just sanding down some of the sharp edges and here it now sits in my bedroom.

I feel like it has my dad’s unruly character all over it.❤️

Even though he’s been gone eighteen years, I’m still experiencing the blessings of having him as my dad. And I’m getting better at looking at the positive…rather than sulking in the ‘what ifs’.

How do you cope with the loss of a loved one years later? Feel free to comment with encouraging tips or advice.

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Author: alimw2013

About For His Purpose~ My name is Alicia and I'm a thirty-something year old who loves Jesus. Only through God’s amazing grace and mercy I have been redeemed from past regret and shame. Reading His word has allowed me to look past Satan’s forceful lies, to see myself for who Christ says I am in Him. Through writing I have learned why I made the choices I made in my younger years and I now have a better understanding of why I desire to love God like crazy these days. Despite my daily failures, God remains faithful always. I am reassured of His unconditional love for me by every ink-drop spilled out on paper, each committed prayer as I cry out to Him, and deep understanding reflected through reading His word as truth. Yes keeping a blog will make me vulnerable to others’ opinions- there will be some who don’t understand, some who may criticize or judge, but on the other hand if just one piece expressed through my writing grabs someone’s attention and directs them to God, then pouring out my heart in a blog for the world to read is worth it. I choose to glorify Him alone through words streaming across a glowing screen. And it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t reveal the fact that I’m incredibly quirky; I’m my loving husband’s best friend, my vivacious kids’ craziest cheerleader and spiritual trainer (3 John 1:4). I love anything farmhouse and rustic style. I think cupping a warm coffee mug in the palm of my hands is more satisfying than the contents within. I share a common obsession with my husband for the mountains, but I would (without a doubt) settle for waves crashing against my legs at the Atlantic Ocean just as well, and I almost always have a Yorkie curled up on my lap while writing. *All photos are photographed by forhispurpose.blog and therefore may not be stored or photocopied in any manner.

32 thoughts on “I’m So Glad You’re The One Taking Care Of Me Today (PART 2)”

  1. Pingback: I’m So Glad You’re The One Taking Care Of Me Today (PART 1) – For His Purpose

  2. I will hold you in my heart and prayers. Losing my father sent me into the abyss. He was the only person in my family I could love and trust. I had to deal with my ex-siblings CREMATING him behind my back (I was the POA) and selling each and everything he owned just for money. Then they took me for the ride of my life, such narcs and flying monkeys, half bred dumbasses. Sorry, I lose my cool, you shouldn’t look back. I just want you to know that those very memories are a gift from God, and they will see you through. God speed my dear.

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    1. Thank you so much!! It breaks my heart reading that but I know very well how death can bring about chaos, hurt feelings, and bitterness…I’ll keep you in my prayers as well! Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  3. Pingback: I’m So Glad You’re The One Taking Care Of Me Today (PART 2) — For His Purpose | The Hippy Chic

  4. So glad you have found a way to focus on the positive and find some healing. My husband lost his father almost three years ago now, and the pain is still very real. I will continue to pray for healing for him and for you. Thank you for this post as it gives me hope (I am seeing some glimmers of him starting on the road to healing, but I know it’s still going to take lots and lots of time). God Bless!

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  6. Losing a parent is hard at any age. I still remember sitting with my father while he died. I was reading from 1 Corinthians 15 to him when he died. I am grateful he is in heaven.

    Cherished memories like the ones you have can help us. 🙂

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  10. I love his last words and that you get to treasure them forever. I’m so glad for this opportunity to look back on 2008, when the man who was the only father I knew died in July and my Mother died in September, unexpectedly. I celebrate my uncle’s love for the Lord and try to remind his widow (87) and his daughter (66). They choose bitterness in spite of the love notes he left behind for them to seek the Lord. I keep reminding anyway. My Mother? God rest her soul. We (my siblings and I) loved her tremendously and the loss is great. But I celebrate her new birthdate into heaven and we have cake, because she loved cake! Thanks for prompting the sad and sweet memories. They both have benefit. ❤️

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    1. Awe I love all of that!!! It makes it sooo much easier when we focus on the positive!! And you are right the sad and sweet memories both have benefits ❤️
      Thank you so much for sharing your comment Cecilia!!

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  11. I love that you turned the ladder into a blanket holder. I also love your attitude. My attitude has had to shift through this season as well. Prayers like, “Help me to trust” have become ” I will trust you.”

    How do I cope with the loss of a loved one? Well the hardest people to lose have been my grandma, and the friend I lost in December. Both of these people were like sunshine to me. (Ugh… I’m actually tearing up here…) There have been days this season that I’ve really missed both of them. Certain people just light up your day. My grandma, and my dear friend Robert were just that. So I can feel sorry for myself because they’re gone. It’s really helped to take stock of who I do have in my life. Writing about these people has turned things around. I’ll always miss them, but it does help to focus on the people who are making a real impact in my life now.

    I have a few write-ups about these people yet to come out on my blog. I’m so backed up on my writing. This is part of why I’m posting more often.

    I know that you want to catch up on my blog, but you are SO busy, and I am posting three times a week right now, so it’s going to be way too much for you with all you have going on. Just read what you feel lead to read. I’m sure God will help you with that if you ask. 🙂

    Love you my friend. Keep doing what you do. Your amazing. 🙂

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    1. You made me teary-eyed reading through that, but goodness I’m okay with crying…We had a church camp out this past weekend and five people got baptized and I bawled the whole way through it, but it was because I was just so full of joy and so happy for them!! It blesses my heart!!
      Thanks for encouraging me with blog reading because it does get to me that I get behind!!!

      Love you!!! You and Andrew have an awesome week!!

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      1. No problem. I get behind too, or I’m too beat to give reading my full attention, so I’ll wait until I can concentrate better. But I hate it too. Oh, I’m a crier as well. I cried just reading Andrew part of Psalms recently. I hate crying. 😃 I mean it’s a good sign that you’re still soft, but I get self conscious about certain things. That’s just me… lol. You have an awesome week too, Alicia!

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  12. Beautiful post 👏
    I Will is far far better than What if !! No Iffs and no Buts… life is today.
    I have been writing a lot about Life and Death recently.
    You may also like to read my post : Time Heals Nothing

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  13. Such a lovely ladder! I’m blessed to read your posts today and learn more of you and your life. I’m so sorry for the struggles you’ve faced with loss. I will pray for you right now!🙏💗

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